What is the greatest love story you have ever heard? I remember a story that comes from Africa. In a certain village, one young lady was considered unmarriageable. No one seemed willing to pay the average dowry of one cow to marry this woman. But unexpectedly a man came to this woman's father and insisted on giving ten cows to purchase the right to marry her. Wow! No bride beamed more brightly than she did on her wedding day. She instantly went from being a nobody to being the most distinguished woman in the village. She was a ten-cow bride!

This story reminds me of the greatest love story ever told. It's the story of our Bridegroom, Jesus, and his bride, the church. That's us. We were blind, rebellious, unfaithful, and utterly incapable by ourselves to do anything of value—undesirable. Yet Jesus loved us deeply and unconditionally. No dowry compares to the price he willingly paid for us—his very life! The apostle Paul reminds us, "Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:25-27).

The Savior's great love for us unworthy creatures is the perfect blueprint or guideline for every love story. It also becomes a model for each of our marriages. Christ's love gives us the secret of living happily married.

Husbands love with sacrificial love

First, Paul provides some principles for husbands: "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. . . . Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. . . . In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body" (Ephesians 5:23,25, 28-30).

Let's immediately deal with this "headship" thing. Some have tried to downplay it and say that Paul is merely saying man was created first and was the source of the woman. Others have tried to make Paul mean that the husband is the boss, the sole authority, the master over his wife.

But for a husband, to be the head means loving in such a way as to give himself up for his wife. Remember Jesus' words, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave" (Matthew 20:25-27). Jesus understands headship as taking the lead in loving, and giving up oneself for another.