When I was young, I thought the only way something could be real was for it to be free. It had to flow like a river, blow like the wind. It had to be as easy and as natural as breathing.

Free to pray free prayers

You can imagine what that meant in my prayer life. "Don't hedge me 'round with times and seasons, don't trouble me with set hours or fixed forms." Oh no, to be real, prayers had to be unrehearsed and uncoerced.

I could conceive of nothing more lethal to the true spirit of prayer than thin-lipped piety cracking the whip over my soul. I had to be me. I had to be free. I don't know that I prayed much, but that was beside the point. I had true prayer figured out, and I could do it if I wanted, whenever I wanted.

To give the devil his due, there's often an element of truth in his lies. I was right in thinking wherever the gospel is, there is freedom. What could be more clear than Paul's words, "It is for freedom Christ has set us free"?

Love needs no command to coerce it, but before the command is given, it's already up and doing. The Spirit that Christ gave us in baptism unceasingly cries out to the Father from within us. He groans out my needs to God in thoughts more deep and free than I could ever say.

But the Liar was glad to let me forget that I was still a sinner. Though Christ has given me his Spirit, I still contend with my sinful nature. The sad truth is: my sinful self does not want to pray. I may not have to coax my spirit into doing anything, but I still must coerce my sinful nature, or I won't get anything done.

Free to set time aside for prayer

A seminary professor put it this way, "Men, sometimes you only get up and preach because it's Sunday and the bells are ringing." True! Not only for preaching, but also for prayer. Sometimes the only thing that makes my sinful nature yield for prayer is force of habit.

Discipline, forms, times and seasons, and appointed hours are things I now welcome, because bitter experience has taught me how complete a pagan I can be.

It seems such a waste that it took over 30 years to learn this, especially when the Scriptures are full of examples of God's people welcoming godly self-discipline. Paul speaks of beating his body and making it his slave. Daniel, Peter, and John all observed set hours for prayer.

Though perhaps I can understand why I was oblivious to other sinners' examples, I wonder why the Son of God's regular practice never made me stop and think. The appointed day found Jesus worshipping his Father in the synagogue "as was his custom" (Luke 4:16). So urgently did the Spirit press his demand for prayer upon him that, when our Lord knew his workday would be long and the demands great, he made time for prayer by getting up early and going to a quiet place.

Free to let God's will be done