After a loved one is gone and the tears stop flowing, God's promises help us move on with life.

It had been some months since Jenny's son died unexpectedly just hours after he was born. Thankfully, the doctor was able to do an emergency baptism. But she seemed to be struggling with "moving on" with her life. She asked, "Pastor, when will life get back to normal?" I answered, "It won't. You have to accept the fact that life will go on, but it will go on differently."

ACCEPTING LOSS

Acceptance is what many experts say is the last step of grieving. After the shock wears off, the anger begins to subside, the desire to bargain has faded, and there don't seem to be many more tears that can flow, the next challenge is accepting the fact that life goes on. Sometimes that acceptance is even hampered by guilt: "How can I go on living and even try to find happiness without my spouse/my child?"

A good biblical example of "accepting" loss is King David. While David's son was sick, David prayed and fasted, hoping that the Lord would spare his son's life (2 Samuel 12). When his son died, David took off his mourning clothes, went to church, and then ate supper. His servants were puzzled by his behavior, so they asked him, "Why are you acting this way?" (v. 21). David answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me" (vv. 22,23).

Accepting loss is not some morbid, fatalistic resignation to a gloomy future without purpose. Acceptance in loss is made possible by the Christian hope of heaven and God's promise to work for the good of those who love him.

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

David accepted the fact that he could not bring his son back. But that loss was tempered by the hope of a future together. "I will go to him," David said.

That's the way it was for Paul too. In the final days of his life, he experienced the loss of his freedom while under house arrest. Friends deserted him. He had little hope of getting out alive. How did Paul cope with those losses? Paul accepted his losses as the Lord's will and looked forward to the future. Paul put it this way, "I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing" (2 Timothy 4:6-8).