Luther's sense of sin and fear of death pushed him to enter a monastery. Yet even there he could not rid himself of an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Near Stutternheim in Germany, between Luther's hometown Mansfeld and Erfurt, there is a rock inscribed with the words: "St. Anne, help me, I will become a monk." It marks the spot where Martin Luther addressed those words to the patron saint of miners, the mother of the Virgin Mary. In the 22nd year of his life, as he was returning from a visit to his parents, the young law student was caught in a fierce storm. A close lightning strike knocked him to the ground and in terror he made a fateful promise.

Was it a sudden impulsive decision or was it the culmination of a long internal debate? It is probable that the two causes came together in the terror of that storm. In Luther's upbringing there had been more dread of God the Judge than trust in Jesus the Savior. Recent events had worked to deepen his sense of sin and fear of death. He had an accident with his student sword, slicing an artery and suffering complications in the healing. At the time he finished work for his bachelor's degree he suffered from a dangerously high fever. The "intimations of mortality" that naturally resulted from these experiences helped to heighten his spiritual anxiety. Some internal crisis prompted him to take a leave of absence after just one month in law school.

Seeking salvation

Two weeks after the storm he hosted a farewell gathering for a group of fellow students, giving away his books and other belongings. The next day he entered the "Black Cloister," so named because of the black habit worn by the Order of Observants of the Augustinian Hermits. In September he took the vows of a novice and made them permanent one year later.

After his final vows, Luther's brothers in religion congratulated him because he was released from all guilt, like a newly baptized infant. He said in later years, "I took the monastic vows not to fill my stomach, but to seek my salvation, and I kept all our statutes very strictly." But he was by no means confident that he was right with God. Probing his own thoughts, emotions, and motives only aggravated his sense of guilt.

A gnawing sense of guilt

In 1533, when he was almost 50 years old and preaching on 1 Corinthians 15, he said: "With all my masses, with prayers, fasts, vigils, and chastity, I never advanced to the point where I could say, 'Now I am certain that God is gracious to me.' "