Kayla had been my daughter’s best friend in first grade. They not only spent time together in the classroom and on the playground, but also would often spend time together playing at each other’s house. On the Friday of Mother’s Day weekend that year, Kayla’s house was destroyed by fire. Although she had gotten out safely with her mother and younger brother, Kayla ran back into the house to wake up her older brother, who was sleeping upstairs. He jumped to safety, but Kayla never made it out again. She died saving her brother’s life.

My daughter was listed in Kayla’s obituary as a surviving friend. What a testament to their young Christian friendship. As she began to write a note for the bouquet of flowers we were going to send Kayla’s family, she looked up at my wife and said, “Mom, Kayla’s the luckiest one in our whole class.”

My wife asked, “Why would you say that?”

My daughter answered, “She’s the first one in our class to get to see Jesus!”

Losing a child in death

Ask anybody who’s seen it and they will tell you that there is no grief like the grief parents experience when they lose a child in death. It seems so out of order. Usually children bury their parents. Rarely do parents have to bury a child. But it does happen. When it happens, no one can really know the depths of such sorrow, except another parent who has gone through the same sorrow. Such a death tears our hearts. It’s a painful reminder that our children really don’t belong to us. They belong to God. He gives them to us for a time so that we can get them ready for heaven.

That’s the very reason we can turn to God at such a difficult time. You see, God the Father knows what it’s like. His own Son, Jesus Christ, died. He died not only to take away sin but also to conquer death so that people, old and young, would have the hope of seeing Jesus in heaven. Because this is so, no one should think that God’s people are “shortchanged” when they die at a young age. With the psalmist we confess, “You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Psalm 16:11).

Bringing up children in the Lord