With your question you shared the comment that in the church we seem to use the term offend differently than most people do. You’re right. But no matter how we use the word, the general subject and its biblical basis remain important.

Spiritual offense is serious business

Offense, in a theological or religious sense, is far more serious than offending someone by showing a lack of politeness, wounding their feelings, or causing resentment and anger by something we have done. In “church talk” an offense is something that may lead a person into unbelief or erring belief or cause them to continue to sin in some way. Because it is a snare or obstacle placed in someone’s path to eternal life, it’s quite serious. Jesus spoke of this in Matthew 18:6-9.

Giving or taking spiritual offense

It is possible for people to “give” or cause offense and also to “take” offense or be offended. Christians may give offense by an unloving use of Christian freedom in matters neither commanded nor forbidden by God. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are to consider what effect our actions will have on the weak or ill-informed. (See Romans 14:13-15 and 1 Corinthians 8:9-13 for advice on this.) Offense may also be given by false teaching (the term is used in Romans 16:17), unchristian actions and lifestyle (Romans 2:23,24), or by neglecting to act as a child of God should (Galatians 2:11-14). In short, it is sinning in such a way that we not only harm ourselves but also others who are tempted to follow our example and be harmed spiritually.